How Do You Bounce Back In Your Life?
As I am looking at my own life, the lives of my clients and the on going tragedies that are happening in this world, I am asking the following question…How do we bounce back from a physical illness, the loss of a loved one, the destruction of a home, a complete lack of meaning in life or a sense of deep isolation? What are our options?
One of the most potent medicines in bouncing back is to create meaningful connections. You may or may not know how to create authentic relationships, how to ask for help, how to be real in your deepest places of despair, or how to trust the people around you…. Regardless, reaching out is certainly a key element in finding yourself again.
There is another component that I would like to emphasize today; I call it the Art of Falling. In order to bounce back you need to know how to fall. If you are too rigid when you fall you will hurt yourself; if you don’t let go you will break parts of your body. You need to allow yourself to touch the bottom; like playing on a trampoline you can ‘t bounce back if you don’t touch the bottom.
When you really fall you are able to experience a sacred space where the swirl of emotions does not overwhelm you anymore; you become stable and lucid, there is nothing more to loose.
The mind does not know how to fall; the mind wants to be safe. The heart knows how to fall simply because the heart is not driven by fear or the future. The mind on its own has a distorted relationship with pain…either it runs away from it or it is addicted to it.
How deeply can you let yourself fall? How deeply can you feel your own pain, despair, anxiety or loss? If you go deep your will heal yourself and the pain will shift to a more spacious and sacred experience.
What do you do to avoid falling? Do you make yourself busier? Do you abuse your body? Do you blame your circumstances? What do you do? Learn to fall if you want to bounce back. Learn to fall if you want to grow and experience peace in your life.
With much love and gratitude for being part of my life, I wish you a great holidays season.
Reinventing Celebration
As we are approaching the holiday’s season, lets assess how we celebrate: we eat too much, drink too much, talk to much, stay up too late, watch too much football, prepare too much food or engage into too many activities. This “too much” pattern is often part of what we call celebration. It looks to me more like self-destruction.
For years I used to hide behind my work seeing clients on Thanksgiving Day. I have learned to be a Thanksgiving gypsy…not work anymore, connect to nature and land for a little bit of time in one or two gatherings. It is still not my favorite time of the year but always a learning opportunity to soften in the discomfort.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we chose to approach celebrations as a healing opportunity? Wouldn’t it be nice to bring the quality of sacredness in any celebration? There is one element that is the foundation of sacredness and healing, this is Space.
Being spacious is not about being distant; it is not about disconnecting or minimizing your time with any loved ones. It is creating space in your attitude, in your listening, in your seeking, in your love and in your actions.
Love is space so that everyone can unfold in its unique and mysterious way moment to moment. Love without space becomes purely emotional and that is signing up for a rollercoaster of suffering.
Healing is space so that every part of you can change its own pattern and create a new way to exchange energy. Healing without space becomes rigid in the process and it will not work.
My wish is you decide to be spacious during the upcoming celebrations. You will gain awareness and your heart will thank you.
With all my love,
That Thing We Call Death
Once, Osho, the great Spiritual Teacher, said something like this: “Life and death are not opposite. Ego and death are opposite”. …And I got inspired…
Life is always about transformation, transmutation and metamorphosis. Life is always about healing never about achieving. The key element to health and healing is death. If you can’t die you can’t heal. If you can’t let go of your attachments, your beliefs, your stories and your behaviors you can’t heal. Death is the foundation of transformation. If you choose to be vibrant and alive then accept the dying process.
What is in the way to your healing? Your resistance to dying. You want to heal without dying and it simply does not work.
Be curious about your ongoing resistance…how you shut down, how you step away, how you choose to focus on the causes of your unhappiness or disease.
Allow yourself to experience parts of your being that are new to you.
Allow yourself to look at your light and darkness without any stories around.
Just feel yourself deeper. That is where you will find inner peace and awareness. Pay attention to anything you have been saying to yourself for years: “I really want to change this or that”. Ask yourself this simple question: what part of me is ready to die? Is it my lack of trust? Is it my need for constant approval? Is it my fear of being alone? Is it my self-judgment?
What attachments, stories, beliefs, behavior, thoughts or relationships…am I really to let go?
Only then you experience the sacred within you …and that is the first step of healing.
With much love,
Tejpal
Would you like a healing session with Tejpal?
What Is The Purpose of Healing?
As I have been “sitting around” for the past 12 days or so healing from a knee replacement, I have contemplated the following question: What is your first response when someone asks you about the true purpose of healing?
Is it to feel better? Have more vitality? Gain more joy? Get rid of your pains? All of these answers sound pretty good to me but that is not the ultimate purpose of healing; these benefits are the side effects of the healing process.
The ultimate purpose of healing is to develop your relationship with your true self, beyond your titles, your credentials and the different roles you are taking on as a mother, a father, a leader, etc. Some of you may say is that it? That does not sound like too much fun!
Let’s list of few benefits:
- We make decisions that serve our heart not our ego.
- Our emotions are not leading our life; they are part of it.
- We are less reactive.
- We are able to experience more inner stillness in time of chaos.
- We are more aware and curious.
- We are more authentic.
- Our intuition expands.
The process of Healing brings us closer to our true self and from there our awareness expands tremendously. There is a sense of unity that is priceless to experience particularly when we are hitting a wall…any wall. And so be curious this month about what distracts you and what helps you to connect deeper with you!
With much love and healing,
Tejpal
How Do You Relate To Pain?
I was reading a book this weekend about a friend of mine Janice, who was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2010. Today she is still active touching so many yet experiencing a new chemo treatment. I witness her beautiful and relentless spirit, her untouchable focus and ability to be so grateful day after day.
I also have two of my clients Carolyn and Laura going through major diseases; both have the same ability to celebrate in their unique style any victory they have.
These three women have mastered their relationship with pain. Janice has a foundation and she teaches; uplifting so many and bringing awareness about cancer prevention. Carolyn who is still in the early stages of treatment for Leukemia is at the hospital and blogs. Her insights about surrendering and being a spiritual warrior are priceless. Laura is experiencing multiple forms of cancer and is too weak these days to do much of anything but she focuses on gratefulness with so much depth. These three women rely on two things: their heart and their spirit.
Most of us when we go through any pain we go into more fear, worries, anxiety and we jump into the future saying to ourselves: “When is it going to end?” As I am doing some renovation in my house and experiencing an on going mess, I have asked that question more than once. When I went through a break up last October I wondered many times when the pain will end.
Our pain always gives us an opportunity to grow. We can pretend there is no pain and find a way to numb it. We can be busier, drink a little more, jump into a new relationship, or collapse and be depressed. Quite frankly there are many more options.
We can blame or we can learn. We can ignore it or we can grow through it. When you master how you relate to your pain you deepen your experience with joy. Choose to drop your thinking, step back from your emotions and go into the heart.
The heart is the only place that will teach you how to be still and present when you are in pain.
When you are worrying about your future you are not in the heart. As Janice was saying in her book*, “NOW spelled backwards is WON…if you stay in the now, you’ve won the day”.
When you are obsessing on how to get rid of your pain you are not in the heart, you are in your head. Your pain is not a problem to be fixed but a part of you to be explored.
Join me August 6th , at 6 pm Pacific. I will lead a virtual healing circle to help you experience the wisdom of your heart.
For an hour you will:
– Learn three specific meditations to help you be in the heart
– Experience healing processes to feel peace and release any agitations coming from your mind
– Understand your unique style and discover specific ways to embrace your pain and get insights
This is a time for transformation!
Join me August 6th at 6PM Pacific. Together our healing power is stronger. If you cannot make the call, this session is recorded.
*Janice M. Coggins, MSW
“OVARIAN CANCER?
You can NOT be serious!”
Reinventing Your Relationship With Forgiveness
Every change you truly desire starts at the heart center. Your will or your mindset may be useful to support any transition you want to create in your life, but without the heart energy the changes you are making will feel stressful or will not last.
There are two important practices that enhance the energy of the heart: gratefulness and forgiveness. All of us can gain to deepen our relationship with both. When we experience our heart energy, we live in the present and are open to receive intuitive guidance.
Over the past 25 years I have witnessed with my clients a lot of pain, struggle and confusion around the theme of forgiveness. I often notice a genuine desire to forgive and yet the feelings of resentment, anger and confusion are still present. We know that when we truly forgive we feel free, spacious and ready to reinvent our lives.
- We will practice several meditations to expand the energy of the heart
- You will learn the 3 stages toward true forgiveness
- I will work with you, (during our Q&A), and share insights and healing to support you on your journey
Let’s create a beautiful time and bring our energy together for healing.
Click here to learn more about the Virtual Monthly Healing Circles.
Rejoice and Renew
As we enter into a new year, we enter into a new frequency of energy. We have the opportunity to open up to a new level of awareness where we can see our patterns and experience our Self from a new perspective. A new frequency of energy gives us the opportunity to expand and reach new levels of joy.
This renewed self-expression requires healing. Without healing you will go into la-la land, driven by your stories and ungrounded.
What are you choosing to heal at this time? What part of you are you choosing to hold in stillness? How can you connect to the divine self within you? How can you stay connected to your true essence? How can you hold your duality, your fears, your hope and your despairs without trying to solve them or fix them? How can you trust the healing power of your soul energy?
When we choose the path of healing we choose radical truth.
If you are truly interested in self-renewal then start there. Remember that who you are is energy and simply be willing to look at your behavioral patterns. Do not go sideways into any context and or why you acted this way or that way. Look at you, your actions your reactions and your communication.
- What do I wish people knew about me?
- What do I wish people never discovered about me?
- What are my recurrent ways of acting (my patterns)?
- What are the fears and/or the needs that are driving my behavior?
My suggestion is to work with someone who can hold you with love and clarity. When you surrender to that level of truth then you will create joyful breakthrough in your life.
Rejoice and renew! Schedule a free 15 minutes discovery session with me!
Summer Clearing
The summer season in Tucson may look like the winter season in Alaska. It is a time of hibernation where we are reminded of the law of nature. I have had a tendency to drag myself during this period of heavy heat focusing too much on all the things I cannot do and this year, I have decided to take advantage of the summer. The heat quiets everything down and if we choose, it is a time for deep clearing. The act of clearing calls on many qualities: opening up, letting go, visualizing, healing and reinventing ourselves to name a few.
How do we clear?
Our Physical Level is perhaps the easiest level to clear. I have decided that for 40 days, I am getting rid of one thing everyday. I am giving away a fancy juicer and a dehydrator that I don’t use. I am giving away books, and I am feeling a wonderful burst of energy. The joy of clearing my space is simply priceless.
Our Emotional Level often holds pain. Choose one emotion that does not serve you anymore. Either it is anger, anxiety, depression, resentment, worries, or any other ones. Decide which emotion you want to be free from. Visualize all the benefits of the new you and create a collage.
Our Mental Level is often a place where we get stuck. Clearing our mind is an everyday requirement. When we do not clear our mind, our thoughts have a tendency to become loud and we become more reactive loosing touch with your essence. Choose a breath pattern from a tradition of your choice to reduce the intensity of your mind and stay connected with your true self.
The Heart and Spiritual Levels are certainly important dimensions to clear from and regenerate. Each of these two levels will help you renew your whole being. There are many approaches to work on these two levels. An effective way is to commit to a form of art expression. Remember you do not have to be good at it but simply enjoy it!
Get started this summer and decide where you want to start with; there is no logical order. Renew yourself with Tejpal for a transformative session or a discovery session!
