Self-compassion is not about liking yourself or creating a series of positive affirmations about how great you are. Self-compassion is about loving what you don’t like about yourself. It is the ability to see who you are without any story, any bias, any attachment one way or another.
At that moment, you don’t give up on yourself and you don’t worship yourself either: you stay stable and open to your full self. When you get too proud or too shameful about who you are, you are hooked into your ego.
As you know, compassion has not much to do with passion either. Passion alone destroys, burns, reacts. Passion invites emotional chaos, compassion brings stability.
Your search for happiness requires the practice of self-compassion at the center. Also, the higher standards you have toward your own self, the more compassion you need to exercise.
The longevity of your inner peace and joy is based on the quality of your self-compassion. Self-compassion teaches you intimacy toward self; the foundation to embrace any chaos, any unpredictable situation. Self-compassion will teach you to be at peace with your fears.
I understand it is not easy. Notice first how much self-judgment or self-rejection you have toward yourself; notice how much you separate from your true self. Remember, separation opens the door to suffering.
To stay connected to self and learn self-compassion, you can do breathwork.